LOL

So yesterday I was at the grocery store, and I saw my teacher.

She was so happy to see me and exclaimed in joy :P and hugged me and then I saw her tearing up, and I didn't notice it then, but after I left, I felt flattered that she was going to miss me that much.

Anyways,

I had to go get a filling for my TINY like SUPER TINY that I couldn't even see it cavity at the dentist for like A HUNDRED SOMETHING dollars, and it only took like 10 minutes. THAT is a MAJOR rip off. I don't even think I had a cavity or maybe it could've gone away if I kept brushing my teeth well. RIP OFF DENTIST. They are crazy. There is only ONE dentist and there are like 5 patients scheduled at the same time... And you have to wait like 30 minutes AFTER you appt. time to actually get in. It's so retarded and they're just there to make money, and get it over with. The customer assistance SUCKS. I will NEVER be going back to that place EVER again.

Oh,

And my friend called and we were talking and she was like you know I gained like 10 pounds. And then I was like "REALLY????" "From what!?" lol

And then she was like maybe 15 pounds. And I was like Nuh uh!

And then she was like, Dude you're so mean! I could see you smirking and you sounded all happy when I said I gained weight.

Lol, I really didn't know I sounded like that xDDDDD Made me laugh so hard.

Okay. Bye. Gotta do summer AP for Env. Sci. Bunch of stuff left and only 2 days left.

I became a house "mom" today

Well, now I have a whole lot of responsibility Dx I have to do all the chores my mom has been doing!! Ugh. It's actually not that bad, sometimes it's kinda fun too. Like since I'm new at laundry it's sorta fun. Like I've been moving around a lot too and hopefully that'll help me lose some of my jelly rolls, honey buns, and more delicacies.

I'm gonna have to vaccum, steam clean, dust, dishes, cook, laundry, feed the grass (maybe) , blah blah blah >[

I never realized how much responsibility mom's have.

I need to really appreciate that :)

Oh we went to the mall, and I got 2 pairs of jeans. I thought I didn't have a lot of pants, but I found out that they were just all stashed in the back and I just wore the same pairs over and over again. So they fit and it's good 'cuz it's spandex and it's very flexible for me :) Skinny jeans make it better too. Like they're not the suffucating type. They just fit good on you. And, dang, the price was a whooping overpriced lobster, I think.

Back back

I'm back :')

I haven't posted in a month. Longer than a month. Well, I seem to post every month. hehe ;)

Lazy girl, righttttttt over here!! EYAH!

Anyways, dude, I have been the laziest I've ever been in years. I haven't done much of anything that has been very productive. I've been....... hmmm, using the comp a lot. I just play a lot of games lately 'cuz of my bff :) hehehe, Y.O.U S.U.C.K!!! J/k I heart you >D

MAN MAN, I miss you so much xD thankies for those creams :D

OOh yea baby, I know you love it. It looks so delicious. Mmmm

So here, it's super hot. STILL. The sun goes down at like 8~9 P.M. Yes, I know why, it is summer. I agree. I get tanner so much faster than I did in Hawaii. Isn't that crazy?? Like, I was out watering the lawn for like 2 hours, and I was already tan. I was wearing flip flops so I had these tan legs + feet with white lines xD... weird. It was like my feet were flipflops.

My goals for this summer, we're shattered with procrastination and gaming. It can totally ruin life. I didn't go to the gym that much. Nope, I didn't. I just went occasionally, so not much results there.

I think about food too much. I'm like 25 pounds over my ideal weight. Which is like lower than my friend's weight, although they're skinny already. But, yea, I was so disappointed when I was looking for jeans today. I hate going shopping for pants. They never fit. I'm wide, and horizontally challenged. YES, still am. Like, on a graph, it increases horizontally in increments of 5 every year. That's crazy. It's going to add up soooooooon and I'm going to be a bowling ball or something similar (if I don't grow vertically) I wonder why I don't grow taller. I got a check up at the doctor and they said that I wouldn't grow that much, but since I didn't fast before I went, the results are a bit inaccurate so I need to schedule another appointment. AGAIN, like the 3rd one. Uhm , I got my blood drawn twice, and x-rays taken for growth plates and whatnot.

I'ma be going to school soon in August so I'm a bit excited and nervous. Excited for a new experience, nervous because I fear the workload is going to be a ton. I can't believe the tuition and board is MORE than college. It is so ridiculous. It's not like a COLLEGE education...

Uhh, yea. I'm not sure if I made the wrong choice because we could be saving a ton a lot of more money... but then, hopefully, it'd be worth it in the future. Like, you get help with choosing your colleges and whatnot. Like advisory and you are challenged with more responsibility. I'll be with a roommate as well. Hopefully, I could handle whoever it is from wherever. *Sigh* mmm, so yea. Oh and that book, no, haven't written that. It sounded so much like a ... movie script that I just stopped. It wasn't that good anyway. But I should work at it, but I don't really know. I REALLY don't know what to do. I'm so indecisive. Wishy-washy. I don't know where to go. I'm lost on a map. My compass changes. I follow wherever I feel like going. I just go where I go. What's really with this life. I've had a lot of weird dreams about death and where you go afterwards... Dreams can really make you emotional.. I think it's so cool. like, you think something really happened, and you regret it so bad, but the thing is, it's just a dream, and you become more weary to avoid it from happening.

Oh, we had a ton of ants come in the house yesterday. It's because everyone loves to eat in my room the most. I don't know, it's our families little hangout although I TELL them not to eat, but they don't listen. So yea, there are a lot of gaps in this house that the Mexican homebuilders forgot to fill in... They build very crappy houses at a HIGH price not even worth it. No offense, but I'm just saying what's true. Same with Chinese products, they're crappy, well, a lot of the cheap ones are. And I hate how U.S. manufacturers upgrade the price 10 times more than the real cost they bought it at. Like at Nike, Claires, Coach, and other places. You'll look at the, "Made in" place and 95% of the time, it's from China *from my experience of course.

You can hardly ever find a product that's not made in China nowadays. Or if you do, it's very expensive. RIDICULOUS. Since the economy's so bad nowadays, people will do anything they necessarily won't do if they weren't as poor. Larceny, fraud, scam, etc. You can't trust anyone. Today, we got 2~3 phone calls from these advertisement companies. I'm glad I didn't answer the phone :)

I'ma go now. Bye

My day today-- June 20

I slept until 1 P.M today and then I ate brunch. We took a trip to H.E.B to get some groceries and that took about an hour. I got those yummy white peaches and round, hot, flaming cheetos. Delicious! We went to the mall and looked at furniture stuff for like a whole hour in that teeny weeny shop. We ate out at Applebees, it was alright. I ordered something sucky at the last moment and ended up not even finishing half of it. >:o
Uhm, yea, I had a small little day today. Good bye :)

America: A (somewhat) Spoon-Fed Society

Is it just me, or is the modern world really telling us people what we should learn, how we should think or behave, teaching us what's appropriate and what's not in certain situations, and creating a world of "harmonious unity"?
As we see nowadays, there's an infinite amount of information readily available on the world wide web, media, society, etc. We have more information out there- everywhere- that the quality of information ultimately degrades over time. A no-brainer there.
On the news hundreds and thousands of people die everyday. Some with unnatural circumstances but have become the headlights of our society have become the norm in our society. You can find manslaugter in unlikely homes (on the news a devout Christian family's son had beecome a gunman and killed people in different churches out of feeling from rejection when he was expelled from the YWAM camp.), horrendous torture of innocent young victims, parent's killing thein own children, neighbors acting violently, people just killing people-- as of today on Google news with the search of "death murder" there are 52,543 ... Hopefully that number won't increase, but it's highly improbable. Is our society faced for disaster? Are we doing more harm than advancing society?

Being raised in S.E. Asia and having family there, education is highly valued. So valued that parent's would buy cars or expensive gifts for their child if they performed well on college exams or if they performed poorly, become an outcast in the family circle-- leaving their child with a feeling of rejection. These students study day & night-- they hardly have time for themselves. Their whole life is planned out. Starting out with going to an English-speaking kindergarten, to getting accepted at a private American prep-school, to going to a bunch of summer camps, to going to Harvard University, and Harvard Medical School. I bet when people get some sense in the future, if there will be a far longed future, they'll just laugh or feel pitifully of how one child's whole life was planned out like that. Actually, I think there's a trend. Parents trying to control their children's lives in attempt to satisfy success and a sense of acheivement. Farmer families having tons of kids so they could take on the farm, kings and queens matching out who their sons or daughters will marry, and now today families taking charge of their children's lives using education. What's next? Be the first to build colonies on other planets???
What is sucess? My definition of success is achieving a goal that was hardly sought after. & I think that the children should be able to choose what they're goal in life will be, whether it really is to become a doctor, a freelance writer, a traveler all across the world, or a fashion designer with shops in New York, Milan, London, and Paris. When will we get out of this Mobius strip of a ruckus and have some sense.
It creates a world of poverty, inequality, oppression, denial, rejection, crime, theft, murder, and more...

MEDIA
like in my first post-- I hate the media-- Personally, I'm really out of this world in the wrong century. Sometimes I wonder if I were to be born in the 18th or 16th century or something before that. I don't watch T.V. that much nor am I persistent in reading the news either. I'm really out there and just do what I feel & seek what I can. I mean, I'm book smart and all, I like reading, but when it comes to today's stuff, I'm not really into all of it. There's just too much information out there that it creates so much confusion. I hate how most public schools are how they are today. Quantity over quality. They force all this stuff into our brains like we're sponges and ask us to regurgitate it by the end of the week. You never go over it afterwards, and they just put more pressure by making you read tons of books or give you tons of homework. (Maybe this is just my school and the courses I take) They don't relate it to anything and don't tell you why you should learn it. They just say they teach it because it's in the curriculum. And as for the state tests, they teach to the test so that they can keep their "accredation" and maintain their pay checks. The quality of the teachers are also very degrading and shameful. Some teachers don't really know much about the subject they teach and also teach football or basketball as well and are too busy to grade papers when it comes to their season of the year. Alsom some teachers will often give you curves so that you could pass- which is really good for the students- but does it mean we are actually learning? Not really.
When we're actually trying to shove all this stuff into the young minds in a forcefull manner, they don't really retain it. Then, how come, do they understand all the other things that happen with Brittany Spears, J-Lo, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and what not? It's because it's repetition-- everyday and they can relate to it. People are talking about it. It's interesting, and sometimes their parents don't want them to learn about these things. Often in teen years, they can be seen as rebels and think they're super great and cool.
Get out of the habit of babying your child, forcing stuff upon them (What, you didn't get into Harvard? You're valedictorian and president of the cheerleading squad, you work 7 days a week, you should've gotten in more than anyone else!) Hello~? There are tons of valedictorians in the U.S., and does that mean they are necessarily smart? No, not at all, like I said, some schools really suck. This kid needs to get a life. Does she know what she wants in life? Maybe, maybe not. It's really sad when a child just lives their whole life to their parent's standards to get approval. Anyways, I'm done with all this yabbering. It's 8:20 A.M. I'm tired. I'm going to bed now. *yawn* g' night/morning. Forget the gym, I'm hitting the covers.

Summer-- what a bummer :*(

SUMMER

The time of passion for fashion, going to the beach in your new hot body wearing your new bikini, hooking up with guys, partying every day from June - August, and finding a job-- sound familiar?? I guess summer goals do get a bit cliche-ish now lately.
But, am I just from another planet or what? THESE ARE THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF what I'm doing now.
Most of my summer has been involved with going to Barnes & Noble, working out at the gym (without much results yet), writing a bunch of weird things, like this, exactly,)) reading, studying for SAT and other things like AP tests (which I'm not really doing lately) like a dress I wore myself out right after I bought it and it's piled on my desk with some other junk I possess, anddd a bunch of weird research for my "novel" which I don't even know if I'll finish. It's in a very elementary state right now and my ideas are pretty far-fetched. I have an outline and all, but I don't know what & how to write about it to get to the climax of the story... It pretty much is a jumble of mess. But still, I know that it takes forever for even adult writers and very respectable writers to get their work published. Mine, I dunno, lol. I secretly wish that it'll be on New York's Best seller's list. But that's very... uhm, unlikely now. I just have a couple of pages so far. Weird & random, totally unrelated and stringy.
Right now, I'm up at nearly 7 in the morning. I've been up since TWO A.M. and couldn't go to bed since. I went outside at about 6:20 AM and geez, it was so humid already. I could feel the icky moist all over my body in a matter of seconds. I stepped out took a deep breath and ewww yuck- that didn't feel too great- felt like I was in a steam room, anyways, the birds were chirping already, the skies were blue, and to the south I saw a beautiful crescent moon and I believe, the North star too :) Amazing. There are terrific scenery skies here but my bulky digital camera can't just capture the beauty. I wish I had a better/ nice camera, but I don't have that much money to spare, as I'm still saving & jobless as well. D:
Oh, and btw, I've been looking for scholarships and whatnot, but the thing is, most of them are after school starts, but I feel just hopeless. Too many- way too many competitors for those Big Daddy prizes. I should level down a bit, but then I kind of think it's a big waste of time -- better to have something than nothing though, right? Yeah, but those are harder to find- most are local -- how in the world do you discover them though??? When I 'google' it, I come up with old dates from 2007 or 2003. Too late, who cares now.
I don't think I'm going to be able to workout this morning. I don't really feel like it now, and com'mon it's SATURDAY... but then, I took a rest on Thursday, lol ;P
Oh well. Yesterday, I ran 5K on the tread mill. Dude, it was pretty tough. I haven't been running that far in months. I did a test 5k on Monday and got 32 minutes- I really felt like I was trying hard and my heart rate was like 180 something even though I was trying to cool down. Crazy. Anyways, yesterday, it took a little longer and I struggled through it with a 35:46 or something like that. Yea, suppppper slow. I know. Totally. My goal is to shoot for a 25 min. 5K by... uhm. July 10th or somewhere along those lines. I have all these excuses why I'm so slow.
I carry all this extra luggage in my trunk, have Morton's toe from genetics, am a female overpronator. And then I complain that my knees, Achilles tendon, ankle, "Oh, geez, I can't breathe," "I'm too tired," "I'll get to it next time" crap. Gosh, I'm such a sissy.
Whoah, it's morning now. Dang, it takes me like 30 minutes to type all this stuff. Why do I even post this stuff online... I must be so bored that I would want to share all my thoughts with random people I have no clue about.
Uhm, my goals for today... write more of my 'novel' , read some chapters for the summer course work, uhm... I don't know what else. Time really seems to fly and I feel like I'm wasting a lot of it. I want to get more than just education out of my life. I don't want to just live to advance our sosciety... Seriously, after I'm dead, it doesn't really matter. And would many people respect the contributions I make? No, not really, they'll take it for granted unless it's some life-saving invention like making a new colony on Mars before humans *cough, Americans mostly and other wealthy nations, cough* destroy the world by overeating/processing meat, depleting the world's resources, and just changing the nature of things by like 2050. Maybe there'll be a WWIII with N. Korea testing out all their ammunition. Maybe he wants to destroy the world. Maybe he wants to just scare everyone off. Maybe he just lived like that all his life and it would seem useless to abandon all his life's work. Who knows, only God knows for sure what's in that man's mind to alter his people from their full capabilites and control their lives. When will God's presence even be recognized by them? Do they even know about God's existence? Technically, communism is their forced 'religion' they have to abide by or else, ... I don't want to go in detail with that... 10 minutes have passed now.
So... a seed contains all the potentials of the seed before it even begins to grow. It contains the ingredients of the 'plant' and only matures with the right conditions. (( Like a grape seed can't become an apple tree & bear apples and vice versa. )) Okay, then what if the seed is immature or lacks all the nutrients/ ingredients/ capabilites to mature..? Then would it be bound to become fruitless? Figuratively, merely a vegetable? It would be impossible to make it what it should become... God knows what's bound to happen to all the people in this world. He created them and know what they're capable of. Why would he create all these vegetables then? What purpose does that give? I mean, it offers the seeds to bear fruit and all, but they do have feelings and emotions- they are still a soul, right??
Man, I don't even know what my point is because I don't even make any sense. (10 minutes have passed and I'm struggling to portray my views)
I have a whole lot to talk about, and I'll get to that on another post. (Total time of writing ~ 50 minutes ;; crazy how time flies like this? I told you so that it goes by quickly in a glimpse.)

Wishful Thinker, I

I want so many things in life. I want to accomplish so many things. I try; I'm always eating more than I can chew. Ambitious, would be the word that describes me.
What have I done these past few days--

The usual-- yep. The usual.
I went to the beach on Wednesday, I think; I got majorly tan, although I was trying to prevent that. I don't want wrinkly skin when I get older-- eww. My "friend" I went with ( I have no clue whether she's my friend or not-- I'm very selective when saying who is my friend-- thus the quotation marks ) was astonished that I wouldn't want to tan. "You're the first person I met that doesn't want to tan! You're INSANE!" blah blah blah :P
Yea, so she was trying to tan the whole time, but she just went pink, red, and rosier red. I, on the other hand, was covering myself verrry well with my towel & hers, but tanned anyway. Geez, I hate getting tan + darker. I don't look good with dark skin like some people would.
So after that, I went to her house, and ate frozen pepperoni pizza (not bad, but very garlicky) and ate homemade rice crispies-- yummm. It was so delicious & scrumptious. I could hear mellifluous chirps in my boggled head with each crispy, sweet bite. :B kahaha~

And yesterday, we had a softball game. We were doing ugly plays the first two innings, but caught up later on, but lost with a 10:11. I scored a point though :D
It was embarassing (at least that's what coach always says when we make a lot of errors) because we gave them their first win... Oh well, he fusses over losing so much, it's so frustrating. He is short-tempered; he throws things down on the ground, spits on the dirt, flies his fists in the air, stomps hard on the ground and grumps *Gahhh!* He reminds me of a little boy throwing tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. I think that's bad for his body because he's stressing out over every single, tiny, small, miniscule detail. If I did that, which I do do sometimes, I would go nuts, and yes, sometimes I do go completely nuts that people tell me to CHIllllllllax! Or plainly "Chill out!" or "Relax" Lol :O
Yea, the head coach is fine; I like him; he's a good guy & I'm glad he's the head coach-- the rest of our coaches are just very odd... and scary at times. I shivered when our coach (not the head coach) was yelling at us.
I watched the varsity game, and the other team made two homeruns... Wow, right. It went "plop" over the fence at leftfield. It was mad hard-core. I bet college games would be 3 times scarier than this, though. I think our team needs to do more hitting with a real pitcher... then we'll get the real feel for hitting. I still get nervous when I'm up to bat; I think I mentioned this in my previous posts, maybe not, but I'll repeat it. My hands shake, legs stumble, heart races, and my body tenses up... But because of that, I sometimes strike out-- I think too much;

Anyways, today I have to catch up on a hefty amount of reading of Lord of the Flies by William Golding. So, I'm gonna go, go, go for now :) Idk when I'll post again after spring break; too busy.

Geez louizz...

Hmm... Spring Breakk! Awesome, right!?

uhm,, maybe not so much for me. I'll be staying home studying, listening to music (Right now- listening to "Baby, it's fact"), go to practice & games, surfing the web, etc, etc, etc.
Not so enjoyable, but oh well. This is life. I gotta make my goals, but I'm not so motivated... you know? Well, I was... Now,.. I'm just spiraling down the ladder. Maybe I should just get out of softball. I wonder if it's 'cuz it takes so much of my time... & I don't have time to focus. I haven't been reading my Bible lately .. I keep blaming it on not having any time. But, exercise is important... I hate blaming things for the outcomes I get. I need to stop. Without change there'll be no difference-- I can't expect progress without changing...
Anyways, I'm excited to go to boarding school next fall ;)
Extremely excited :DD Can't wait to go riding horses on the gently rolling praries, skiing down the hills, camping with cool people! :) (Now I'm listening to "Beautiful Love") lol, just thought I'd mention that. I like Muse too. They're pretty great ;)

Ohhh sheeze. I feel like I have no life blogging and stuff... I'm wasting my life just typing out my life... I'm scared later in the future, I won't even recognize myself, and my personality/character will be lost... Will I ever be able to find myself? Will I get lost in the zillions & zillions of lost souls?

FUTURE:

Do I want to really go to college? I know I don't have to, but it'll be a good idea, right? Yea, I should. I'll learn a lot. It's good to have. I want to go sailing on a ship & stuff. Maybe I should have applied to Proctor Academy as well...
Making decisions are always so scary. Life is scary. I think I have a lifephobia-- scared of life. lolz, there's a lot of scary things to life. Things we don't know about- we shouldn't know about. I want to go back in the past and learn about how they lived life. How was life back then? What did it feel like? I mean, if there is a time machine, I BET THERE IS! I bet someone has already made one, and is just hiding it from the world or else everyone would go nuts-- & maybe they did tell the world, and they had to go back to reverse it -- would it be like losing time? What would happen... Would time just freeze while you're going back to the past? Like, Walt Disney in cryptonics... all frozen up. I wonder what will happen. That's so cool, but super expensive... Your soul wouldn't go ANYWHERE . At least, if you're frozen I don't think so. I heard that when you die, your soul leaves your body and you weigh 2lbs less. So your soul must weigh 2 lbs... Weird- I thought it was intangible-- maybe not.

I want to write stories on boarding school-- prep school. I read the Private series by Kate Brian- it's pretty good - but I'm still waiting on the 4th book from the library-- they really need to stock it up..
Now I'm listening to Mika. I like his songs- they're so cheerful and entertaining. Now I'm listening to Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. It reminds me of the movie August Rush for some reason... I wish I could live/experience other people's lives. Take charge in their life for like a year or so. & just continue living other people's lives. I wouldn't ever die or anything 'cuz I would be intangible and wouldn't need a physical body to support me. I wish I could read other people's minds as well. It'll be cool to know what they're thinking- good or bad. It's interesting. But, it'll be super nosy. I wonder when I'm thinking of things, what if the person right next to me can read my mind? I don't want them to know what I'm thinking! I also want to have photographic memory. I mean it has it's pros and cons, but I just want to see what it's like. Man, typing in yellow is super hard to see... Gah- ;P
hmmm... My goals in life... I don't know... I wish I had some good ones, but really what's the point of life- you die. It doesn't matter what you've done/ experienced/ had... Would it just be completely blank? No afterthoughts or anything? Would your character still exist? I mean, I do believe in God, but I'm still lukewarm... Lately, it's hard to go to church and everything -- whoops, there I go blaming my circumstances- it's so hard to make changes. It's hard to change... for the better.

School Life

Daily life:

6:50 AM -- Get ready for school
7:45 AM -- Ride the bus to school
8:00 AM-- Get help from teachers or chit-chat
8:30 AM-- Pre-AP Alg II

Struggling with an A- in this class... She's so picky about everything... But math is black & white + you do have to be picky--- ugh. I don't like math sometimes.

9:27 AM-- Chemistry with Mr. C :D

HEHE :D I love this class. It's super fun- I'm one of the rare kids that say this - but Mr. C is awesome. haha, our class average is failing. Actually, all his classes are failing. But I like the teacher, so I end up liking his class as well.

10:27 AM- Pre- AP Geography
hmm... dull. Mostly worksheets, essays, reading, note-taking;

11:26 AM- Nutrition & Food Science (aka. COOKING & note-taking class)
So far all we've done is note-taking and tests. But soon we'll be cooking, learning to measure, and try yummy food. My cookies I made from scratch ended up being too sweet.
Note to self: Don't always go with the directions. Follow your instincts.
12:30PM- Lunch
Food is terrible. Disgusting. All processed. Nasty. No further comments on my disgust. YUCK!
1:00 PM--Speech - boooring & unnecessary
Ah, picky teacher. So uptight on formalness. Teahcer's personality is alright, not bad. I hate writing speeches.
1:55 PM-- Pre-AP English
Is relaxed :) I like how it's not all stressful :D Amazing English class I've had. We learn a lot & read a lot. Not bad.
2:50PM-- Softball
Gah... Alright... I get hurt ALL THE TIME. hmm, time consuming.
5:30~6 PM -- Home
6:00 PM - Eat dinner, munch on junk food, computer, check email, homework, etc.
Just random stuff. Lately, I've been procrastinating a LOT. Horrible, horrible, horrible!

10~11:30 PM -- Nighty Night :P

I sleep grabbing a pillow between my legs. ;P

Sleeping is amazing-- it's like you're not there- no thoughts- you could die & not even know . I love sleep.

Who I am

I'm one of those lurkers-- standing behind the scene type of people

However, I tend to attract a lot of attention. Why? I do not know.

Maybe it's my long socks with capris, tight pants with no backpockets, or even the colorful socks I wear to school. I've been told many times - why do you wear that? why do you do that? - I hate the way society tells you how you're supposed to wear things. "You know you're not supposed to wear long socks with capris, right? Did you run out of ankle socks?" I just respond with a, "Oh, how'd you know." My face flushes. Yes, I am the type of person that flushes like a crimson rose to these types of comments. I'm super sensitive to what other people say... I remember them, even if you forget. These comments stay within me...

About me-- who am I --

I don't even know who I am. With each moment, I discover myself. What I do, my habits, my thinking. It's like I'm a specimen I'm studying myself. I was born close to the day of Thanksgiving, it might have been a week from or so, up in the northeastern coast of the USA. Amazing. Life. Life is truly amazing in these moments. You cry when you're born, the world rejoices. The world weeps when you die, as you rejoice. Something like that I suppose. Interesting.

As for what I enjoy-- what do I like doing?

For a reserved-ish person, I enjoy crazy things. I'm not into drugs or trivial matters teenagers fuss about lately. Well, I'll admit it. I do think about trivial matters all the time. That's life today. I mean, people are dying from starvation in other areas- worrying about how they'll survive tomorrow - while I'm here thinking about an exam in a week. Science, softball, algebra-- What has happened to the world. We need to be helping eachother survive... I have become part of the dilemma today- and what am I doing about it... -- surviving school, I suppose.

But, I really believe that everything happens for a reason; There'll be a time to come when I discover why things happened, what it proved in the future, and what kind of person I ultimately became. It will be interesting to look back into the past-- the only reminscience I will have to cherish my moments may just be technology today-- cameras, letters, blogs like this, photos, and stuff... I will miss what I have... fighting with my family, (yea, true, I'll miss that) making cookies and brownies, studying homework, not really having major responsibilities, not having to work for anyone besides my parents,...

Anyways, I am real outdoorsy- I like hiking, camping, skiing, horse-back riding, sledding, rock-climbing, bungy-jumping, ahh. yea. I want to do more things- like what they have in the X-games. I like chocolate-- right now, I am like a chocoholic. I eat chocolate everything. I love ice cream as well. Yep, and I definately love cookies. I'm the cookie monster in our house. Our you could say the garbage disposer of food. I eat so much, it's crazy. I should weigh so much more than I do now. It's amazing. (yea, I'm talking of trivial matters)

I'm so random as well. I just say my thoughts as is. I have to think before I speak too.

I like reading, creative writing, and I want to publish a book. I have a lot of ideas- I just don't finish them. I think it's easier to start something than to finish.

The traits I like are

orange/goldish/brownish hair

hazel or blue eyes (green and brown's fine as well.)

The punkish/ neat style. Rebel looking, but neat :)

I like indie/ punkish/ pop music.

Muse, The Afters, The Killers, The Fray, Entice, Howie Day, Jason Mraz, McFly, The Rocket Summer, HelloGoodBye, are just some I like.

I like traveling- traveling is my thing- not like in-country traveling, but traveling to other countries. I love history- & science but I'll talk about that later. - I love learning about other civilizations and historical events. Not memorizing facts, but figuring out how they came to be, their lifestyle, technology, philosophy, and such sorts. Crusades, Genghis Khan, Amazon Warriors, and such interest me. I want to travel to Switzerland, Egypt, Skandinavia; Actually, I just want to travel all around the world. That'll be amazing. Such an adventure. I want to ride in a ship, like they did back in the day, and just live it. Live every moment. Every breath. Every second of the wind brushing against my face. It'll be a revelation. I'll discover myself. I think that's the only way I'll find out who I am. I'm going to see what's around me, figure things out.

I'm not going to get married early either. Maybe 32 would be nice. But before that- uh-uh. I don't see why so many kids want to get married so soon. They're going to live with their "soul-mate" their WHOLE life. That's crazy.

I hate that I think too much about everything. I overreact. Overdramatic. Overstressed. Perfectionist. I can't sleep sometimes because I think too much. I can't sleep with sounds interfering.

My favorite teacher is Mr. Black- Honors world history & literature teacher (He's not my teacher now, I wish he were) He's all the way in Europe. Lucky. I learned/ absorbed like a sponge so much in one year. It's amazing. I still remember things because it connected-- everything connected. Unlike the class I'm in now. Everything's --- separate. We learn through chapters, but they don't relate to eachother. So after every test, I'm forgetting what we learned. Public schools have such a terrible method of teaching.