LOL

So yesterday I was at the grocery store, and I saw my teacher.

She was so happy to see me and exclaimed in joy :P and hugged me and then I saw her tearing up, and I didn't notice it then, but after I left, I felt flattered that she was going to miss me that much.

Anyways,

I had to go get a filling for my TINY like SUPER TINY that I couldn't even see it cavity at the dentist for like A HUNDRED SOMETHING dollars, and it only took like 10 minutes. THAT is a MAJOR rip off. I don't even think I had a cavity or maybe it could've gone away if I kept brushing my teeth well. RIP OFF DENTIST. They are crazy. There is only ONE dentist and there are like 5 patients scheduled at the same time... And you have to wait like 30 minutes AFTER you appt. time to actually get in. It's so retarded and they're just there to make money, and get it over with. The customer assistance SUCKS. I will NEVER be going back to that place EVER again.

Oh,

And my friend called and we were talking and she was like you know I gained like 10 pounds. And then I was like "REALLY????" "From what!?" lol

And then she was like maybe 15 pounds. And I was like Nuh uh!

And then she was like, Dude you're so mean! I could see you smirking and you sounded all happy when I said I gained weight.

Lol, I really didn't know I sounded like that xDDDDD Made me laugh so hard.

Okay. Bye. Gotta do summer AP for Env. Sci. Bunch of stuff left and only 2 days left.

I became a house "mom" today

Well, now I have a whole lot of responsibility Dx I have to do all the chores my mom has been doing!! Ugh. It's actually not that bad, sometimes it's kinda fun too. Like since I'm new at laundry it's sorta fun. Like I've been moving around a lot too and hopefully that'll help me lose some of my jelly rolls, honey buns, and more delicacies.

I'm gonna have to vaccum, steam clean, dust, dishes, cook, laundry, feed the grass (maybe) , blah blah blah >[

I never realized how much responsibility mom's have.

I need to really appreciate that :)

Oh we went to the mall, and I got 2 pairs of jeans. I thought I didn't have a lot of pants, but I found out that they were just all stashed in the back and I just wore the same pairs over and over again. So they fit and it's good 'cuz it's spandex and it's very flexible for me :) Skinny jeans make it better too. Like they're not the suffucating type. They just fit good on you. And, dang, the price was a whooping overpriced lobster, I think.

Back back

I'm back :')

I haven't posted in a month. Longer than a month. Well, I seem to post every month. hehe ;)

Lazy girl, righttttttt over here!! EYAH!

Anyways, dude, I have been the laziest I've ever been in years. I haven't done much of anything that has been very productive. I've been....... hmmm, using the comp a lot. I just play a lot of games lately 'cuz of my bff :) hehehe, Y.O.U S.U.C.K!!! J/k I heart you >D

MAN MAN, I miss you so much xD thankies for those creams :D

OOh yea baby, I know you love it. It looks so delicious. Mmmm

So here, it's super hot. STILL. The sun goes down at like 8~9 P.M. Yes, I know why, it is summer. I agree. I get tanner so much faster than I did in Hawaii. Isn't that crazy?? Like, I was out watering the lawn for like 2 hours, and I was already tan. I was wearing flip flops so I had these tan legs + feet with white lines xD... weird. It was like my feet were flipflops.

My goals for this summer, we're shattered with procrastination and gaming. It can totally ruin life. I didn't go to the gym that much. Nope, I didn't. I just went occasionally, so not much results there.

I think about food too much. I'm like 25 pounds over my ideal weight. Which is like lower than my friend's weight, although they're skinny already. But, yea, I was so disappointed when I was looking for jeans today. I hate going shopping for pants. They never fit. I'm wide, and horizontally challenged. YES, still am. Like, on a graph, it increases horizontally in increments of 5 every year. That's crazy. It's going to add up soooooooon and I'm going to be a bowling ball or something similar (if I don't grow vertically) I wonder why I don't grow taller. I got a check up at the doctor and they said that I wouldn't grow that much, but since I didn't fast before I went, the results are a bit inaccurate so I need to schedule another appointment. AGAIN, like the 3rd one. Uhm , I got my blood drawn twice, and x-rays taken for growth plates and whatnot.

I'ma be going to school soon in August so I'm a bit excited and nervous. Excited for a new experience, nervous because I fear the workload is going to be a ton. I can't believe the tuition and board is MORE than college. It is so ridiculous. It's not like a COLLEGE education...

Uhh, yea. I'm not sure if I made the wrong choice because we could be saving a ton a lot of more money... but then, hopefully, it'd be worth it in the future. Like, you get help with choosing your colleges and whatnot. Like advisory and you are challenged with more responsibility. I'll be with a roommate as well. Hopefully, I could handle whoever it is from wherever. *Sigh* mmm, so yea. Oh and that book, no, haven't written that. It sounded so much like a ... movie script that I just stopped. It wasn't that good anyway. But I should work at it, but I don't really know. I REALLY don't know what to do. I'm so indecisive. Wishy-washy. I don't know where to go. I'm lost on a map. My compass changes. I follow wherever I feel like going. I just go where I go. What's really with this life. I've had a lot of weird dreams about death and where you go afterwards... Dreams can really make you emotional.. I think it's so cool. like, you think something really happened, and you regret it so bad, but the thing is, it's just a dream, and you become more weary to avoid it from happening.

Oh, we had a ton of ants come in the house yesterday. It's because everyone loves to eat in my room the most. I don't know, it's our families little hangout although I TELL them not to eat, but they don't listen. So yea, there are a lot of gaps in this house that the Mexican homebuilders forgot to fill in... They build very crappy houses at a HIGH price not even worth it. No offense, but I'm just saying what's true. Same with Chinese products, they're crappy, well, a lot of the cheap ones are. And I hate how U.S. manufacturers upgrade the price 10 times more than the real cost they bought it at. Like at Nike, Claires, Coach, and other places. You'll look at the, "Made in" place and 95% of the time, it's from China *from my experience of course.

You can hardly ever find a product that's not made in China nowadays. Or if you do, it's very expensive. RIDICULOUS. Since the economy's so bad nowadays, people will do anything they necessarily won't do if they weren't as poor. Larceny, fraud, scam, etc. You can't trust anyone. Today, we got 2~3 phone calls from these advertisement companies. I'm glad I didn't answer the phone :)

I'ma go now. Bye

My day today-- June 20

I slept until 1 P.M today and then I ate brunch. We took a trip to H.E.B to get some groceries and that took about an hour. I got those yummy white peaches and round, hot, flaming cheetos. Delicious! We went to the mall and looked at furniture stuff for like a whole hour in that teeny weeny shop. We ate out at Applebees, it was alright. I ordered something sucky at the last moment and ended up not even finishing half of it. >:o
Uhm, yea, I had a small little day today. Good bye :)

America: A (somewhat) Spoon-Fed Society

Is it just me, or is the modern world really telling us people what we should learn, how we should think or behave, teaching us what's appropriate and what's not in certain situations, and creating a world of "harmonious unity"?
As we see nowadays, there's an infinite amount of information readily available on the world wide web, media, society, etc. We have more information out there- everywhere- that the quality of information ultimately degrades over time. A no-brainer there.
On the news hundreds and thousands of people die everyday. Some with unnatural circumstances but have become the headlights of our society have become the norm in our society. You can find manslaugter in unlikely homes (on the news a devout Christian family's son had beecome a gunman and killed people in different churches out of feeling from rejection when he was expelled from the YWAM camp.), horrendous torture of innocent young victims, parent's killing thein own children, neighbors acting violently, people just killing people-- as of today on Google news with the search of "death murder" there are 52,543 ... Hopefully that number won't increase, but it's highly improbable. Is our society faced for disaster? Are we doing more harm than advancing society?

Being raised in S.E. Asia and having family there, education is highly valued. So valued that parent's would buy cars or expensive gifts for their child if they performed well on college exams or if they performed poorly, become an outcast in the family circle-- leaving their child with a feeling of rejection. These students study day & night-- they hardly have time for themselves. Their whole life is planned out. Starting out with going to an English-speaking kindergarten, to getting accepted at a private American prep-school, to going to a bunch of summer camps, to going to Harvard University, and Harvard Medical School. I bet when people get some sense in the future, if there will be a far longed future, they'll just laugh or feel pitifully of how one child's whole life was planned out like that. Actually, I think there's a trend. Parents trying to control their children's lives in attempt to satisfy success and a sense of acheivement. Farmer families having tons of kids so they could take on the farm, kings and queens matching out who their sons or daughters will marry, and now today families taking charge of their children's lives using education. What's next? Be the first to build colonies on other planets???
What is sucess? My definition of success is achieving a goal that was hardly sought after. & I think that the children should be able to choose what they're goal in life will be, whether it really is to become a doctor, a freelance writer, a traveler all across the world, or a fashion designer with shops in New York, Milan, London, and Paris. When will we get out of this Mobius strip of a ruckus and have some sense.
It creates a world of poverty, inequality, oppression, denial, rejection, crime, theft, murder, and more...

MEDIA
like in my first post-- I hate the media-- Personally, I'm really out of this world in the wrong century. Sometimes I wonder if I were to be born in the 18th or 16th century or something before that. I don't watch T.V. that much nor am I persistent in reading the news either. I'm really out there and just do what I feel & seek what I can. I mean, I'm book smart and all, I like reading, but when it comes to today's stuff, I'm not really into all of it. There's just too much information out there that it creates so much confusion. I hate how most public schools are how they are today. Quantity over quality. They force all this stuff into our brains like we're sponges and ask us to regurgitate it by the end of the week. You never go over it afterwards, and they just put more pressure by making you read tons of books or give you tons of homework. (Maybe this is just my school and the courses I take) They don't relate it to anything and don't tell you why you should learn it. They just say they teach it because it's in the curriculum. And as for the state tests, they teach to the test so that they can keep their "accredation" and maintain their pay checks. The quality of the teachers are also very degrading and shameful. Some teachers don't really know much about the subject they teach and also teach football or basketball as well and are too busy to grade papers when it comes to their season of the year. Alsom some teachers will often give you curves so that you could pass- which is really good for the students- but does it mean we are actually learning? Not really.
When we're actually trying to shove all this stuff into the young minds in a forcefull manner, they don't really retain it. Then, how come, do they understand all the other things that happen with Brittany Spears, J-Lo, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and what not? It's because it's repetition-- everyday and they can relate to it. People are talking about it. It's interesting, and sometimes their parents don't want them to learn about these things. Often in teen years, they can be seen as rebels and think they're super great and cool.
Get out of the habit of babying your child, forcing stuff upon them (What, you didn't get into Harvard? You're valedictorian and president of the cheerleading squad, you work 7 days a week, you should've gotten in more than anyone else!) Hello~? There are tons of valedictorians in the U.S., and does that mean they are necessarily smart? No, not at all, like I said, some schools really suck. This kid needs to get a life. Does she know what she wants in life? Maybe, maybe not. It's really sad when a child just lives their whole life to their parent's standards to get approval. Anyways, I'm done with all this yabbering. It's 8:20 A.M. I'm tired. I'm going to bed now. *yawn* g' night/morning. Forget the gym, I'm hitting the covers.

Summer-- what a bummer :*(

SUMMER

The time of passion for fashion, going to the beach in your new hot body wearing your new bikini, hooking up with guys, partying every day from June - August, and finding a job-- sound familiar?? I guess summer goals do get a bit cliche-ish now lately.
But, am I just from another planet or what? THESE ARE THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF what I'm doing now.
Most of my summer has been involved with going to Barnes & Noble, working out at the gym (without much results yet), writing a bunch of weird things, like this, exactly,)) reading, studying for SAT and other things like AP tests (which I'm not really doing lately) like a dress I wore myself out right after I bought it and it's piled on my desk with some other junk I possess, anddd a bunch of weird research for my "novel" which I don't even know if I'll finish. It's in a very elementary state right now and my ideas are pretty far-fetched. I have an outline and all, but I don't know what & how to write about it to get to the climax of the story... It pretty much is a jumble of mess. But still, I know that it takes forever for even adult writers and very respectable writers to get their work published. Mine, I dunno, lol. I secretly wish that it'll be on New York's Best seller's list. But that's very... uhm, unlikely now. I just have a couple of pages so far. Weird & random, totally unrelated and stringy.
Right now, I'm up at nearly 7 in the morning. I've been up since TWO A.M. and couldn't go to bed since. I went outside at about 6:20 AM and geez, it was so humid already. I could feel the icky moist all over my body in a matter of seconds. I stepped out took a deep breath and ewww yuck- that didn't feel too great- felt like I was in a steam room, anyways, the birds were chirping already, the skies were blue, and to the south I saw a beautiful crescent moon and I believe, the North star too :) Amazing. There are terrific scenery skies here but my bulky digital camera can't just capture the beauty. I wish I had a better/ nice camera, but I don't have that much money to spare, as I'm still saving & jobless as well. D:
Oh, and btw, I've been looking for scholarships and whatnot, but the thing is, most of them are after school starts, but I feel just hopeless. Too many- way too many competitors for those Big Daddy prizes. I should level down a bit, but then I kind of think it's a big waste of time -- better to have something than nothing though, right? Yeah, but those are harder to find- most are local -- how in the world do you discover them though??? When I 'google' it, I come up with old dates from 2007 or 2003. Too late, who cares now.
I don't think I'm going to be able to workout this morning. I don't really feel like it now, and com'mon it's SATURDAY... but then, I took a rest on Thursday, lol ;P
Oh well. Yesterday, I ran 5K on the tread mill. Dude, it was pretty tough. I haven't been running that far in months. I did a test 5k on Monday and got 32 minutes- I really felt like I was trying hard and my heart rate was like 180 something even though I was trying to cool down. Crazy. Anyways, yesterday, it took a little longer and I struggled through it with a 35:46 or something like that. Yea, suppppper slow. I know. Totally. My goal is to shoot for a 25 min. 5K by... uhm. July 10th or somewhere along those lines. I have all these excuses why I'm so slow.
I carry all this extra luggage in my trunk, have Morton's toe from genetics, am a female overpronator. And then I complain that my knees, Achilles tendon, ankle, "Oh, geez, I can't breathe," "I'm too tired," "I'll get to it next time" crap. Gosh, I'm such a sissy.
Whoah, it's morning now. Dang, it takes me like 30 minutes to type all this stuff. Why do I even post this stuff online... I must be so bored that I would want to share all my thoughts with random people I have no clue about.
Uhm, my goals for today... write more of my 'novel' , read some chapters for the summer course work, uhm... I don't know what else. Time really seems to fly and I feel like I'm wasting a lot of it. I want to get more than just education out of my life. I don't want to just live to advance our sosciety... Seriously, after I'm dead, it doesn't really matter. And would many people respect the contributions I make? No, not really, they'll take it for granted unless it's some life-saving invention like making a new colony on Mars before humans *cough, Americans mostly and other wealthy nations, cough* destroy the world by overeating/processing meat, depleting the world's resources, and just changing the nature of things by like 2050. Maybe there'll be a WWIII with N. Korea testing out all their ammunition. Maybe he wants to destroy the world. Maybe he wants to just scare everyone off. Maybe he just lived like that all his life and it would seem useless to abandon all his life's work. Who knows, only God knows for sure what's in that man's mind to alter his people from their full capabilites and control their lives. When will God's presence even be recognized by them? Do they even know about God's existence? Technically, communism is their forced 'religion' they have to abide by or else, ... I don't want to go in detail with that... 10 minutes have passed now.
So... a seed contains all the potentials of the seed before it even begins to grow. It contains the ingredients of the 'plant' and only matures with the right conditions. (( Like a grape seed can't become an apple tree & bear apples and vice versa. )) Okay, then what if the seed is immature or lacks all the nutrients/ ingredients/ capabilites to mature..? Then would it be bound to become fruitless? Figuratively, merely a vegetable? It would be impossible to make it what it should become... God knows what's bound to happen to all the people in this world. He created them and know what they're capable of. Why would he create all these vegetables then? What purpose does that give? I mean, it offers the seeds to bear fruit and all, but they do have feelings and emotions- they are still a soul, right??
Man, I don't even know what my point is because I don't even make any sense. (10 minutes have passed and I'm struggling to portray my views)
I have a whole lot to talk about, and I'll get to that on another post. (Total time of writing ~ 50 minutes ;; crazy how time flies like this? I told you so that it goes by quickly in a glimpse.)

Wishful Thinker, I

I want so many things in life. I want to accomplish so many things. I try; I'm always eating more than I can chew. Ambitious, would be the word that describes me.
What have I done these past few days--

The usual-- yep. The usual.
I went to the beach on Wednesday, I think; I got majorly tan, although I was trying to prevent that. I don't want wrinkly skin when I get older-- eww. My "friend" I went with ( I have no clue whether she's my friend or not-- I'm very selective when saying who is my friend-- thus the quotation marks ) was astonished that I wouldn't want to tan. "You're the first person I met that doesn't want to tan! You're INSANE!" blah blah blah :P
Yea, so she was trying to tan the whole time, but she just went pink, red, and rosier red. I, on the other hand, was covering myself verrry well with my towel & hers, but tanned anyway. Geez, I hate getting tan + darker. I don't look good with dark skin like some people would.
So after that, I went to her house, and ate frozen pepperoni pizza (not bad, but very garlicky) and ate homemade rice crispies-- yummm. It was so delicious & scrumptious. I could hear mellifluous chirps in my boggled head with each crispy, sweet bite. :B kahaha~

And yesterday, we had a softball game. We were doing ugly plays the first two innings, but caught up later on, but lost with a 10:11. I scored a point though :D
It was embarassing (at least that's what coach always says when we make a lot of errors) because we gave them their first win... Oh well, he fusses over losing so much, it's so frustrating. He is short-tempered; he throws things down on the ground, spits on the dirt, flies his fists in the air, stomps hard on the ground and grumps *Gahhh!* He reminds me of a little boy throwing tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. I think that's bad for his body because he's stressing out over every single, tiny, small, miniscule detail. If I did that, which I do do sometimes, I would go nuts, and yes, sometimes I do go completely nuts that people tell me to CHIllllllllax! Or plainly "Chill out!" or "Relax" Lol :O
Yea, the head coach is fine; I like him; he's a good guy & I'm glad he's the head coach-- the rest of our coaches are just very odd... and scary at times. I shivered when our coach (not the head coach) was yelling at us.
I watched the varsity game, and the other team made two homeruns... Wow, right. It went "plop" over the fence at leftfield. It was mad hard-core. I bet college games would be 3 times scarier than this, though. I think our team needs to do more hitting with a real pitcher... then we'll get the real feel for hitting. I still get nervous when I'm up to bat; I think I mentioned this in my previous posts, maybe not, but I'll repeat it. My hands shake, legs stumble, heart races, and my body tenses up... But because of that, I sometimes strike out-- I think too much;

Anyways, today I have to catch up on a hefty amount of reading of Lord of the Flies by William Golding. So, I'm gonna go, go, go for now :) Idk when I'll post again after spring break; too busy.