Geez louizz...

Hmm... Spring Breakk! Awesome, right!?

uhm,, maybe not so much for me. I'll be staying home studying, listening to music (Right now- listening to "Baby, it's fact"), go to practice & games, surfing the web, etc, etc, etc.
Not so enjoyable, but oh well. This is life. I gotta make my goals, but I'm not so motivated... you know? Well, I was... Now,.. I'm just spiraling down the ladder. Maybe I should just get out of softball. I wonder if it's 'cuz it takes so much of my time... & I don't have time to focus. I haven't been reading my Bible lately .. I keep blaming it on not having any time. But, exercise is important... I hate blaming things for the outcomes I get. I need to stop. Without change there'll be no difference-- I can't expect progress without changing...
Anyways, I'm excited to go to boarding school next fall ;)
Extremely excited :DD Can't wait to go riding horses on the gently rolling praries, skiing down the hills, camping with cool people! :) (Now I'm listening to "Beautiful Love") lol, just thought I'd mention that. I like Muse too. They're pretty great ;)

Ohhh sheeze. I feel like I have no life blogging and stuff... I'm wasting my life just typing out my life... I'm scared later in the future, I won't even recognize myself, and my personality/character will be lost... Will I ever be able to find myself? Will I get lost in the zillions & zillions of lost souls?

FUTURE:

Do I want to really go to college? I know I don't have to, but it'll be a good idea, right? Yea, I should. I'll learn a lot. It's good to have. I want to go sailing on a ship & stuff. Maybe I should have applied to Proctor Academy as well...
Making decisions are always so scary. Life is scary. I think I have a lifephobia-- scared of life. lolz, there's a lot of scary things to life. Things we don't know about- we shouldn't know about. I want to go back in the past and learn about how they lived life. How was life back then? What did it feel like? I mean, if there is a time machine, I BET THERE IS! I bet someone has already made one, and is just hiding it from the world or else everyone would go nuts-- & maybe they did tell the world, and they had to go back to reverse it -- would it be like losing time? What would happen... Would time just freeze while you're going back to the past? Like, Walt Disney in cryptonics... all frozen up. I wonder what will happen. That's so cool, but super expensive... Your soul wouldn't go ANYWHERE . At least, if you're frozen I don't think so. I heard that when you die, your soul leaves your body and you weigh 2lbs less. So your soul must weigh 2 lbs... Weird- I thought it was intangible-- maybe not.

I want to write stories on boarding school-- prep school. I read the Private series by Kate Brian- it's pretty good - but I'm still waiting on the 4th book from the library-- they really need to stock it up..
Now I'm listening to Mika. I like his songs- they're so cheerful and entertaining. Now I'm listening to Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. It reminds me of the movie August Rush for some reason... I wish I could live/experience other people's lives. Take charge in their life for like a year or so. & just continue living other people's lives. I wouldn't ever die or anything 'cuz I would be intangible and wouldn't need a physical body to support me. I wish I could read other people's minds as well. It'll be cool to know what they're thinking- good or bad. It's interesting. But, it'll be super nosy. I wonder when I'm thinking of things, what if the person right next to me can read my mind? I don't want them to know what I'm thinking! I also want to have photographic memory. I mean it has it's pros and cons, but I just want to see what it's like. Man, typing in yellow is super hard to see... Gah- ;P
hmmm... My goals in life... I don't know... I wish I had some good ones, but really what's the point of life- you die. It doesn't matter what you've done/ experienced/ had... Would it just be completely blank? No afterthoughts or anything? Would your character still exist? I mean, I do believe in God, but I'm still lukewarm... Lately, it's hard to go to church and everything -- whoops, there I go blaming my circumstances- it's so hard to make changes. It's hard to change... for the better.